Hiding in "the cavity of a rock by day, and by night viewing the destructions which came upon the people."

I've completely lost my interest in interacting with people as I witness the absurdity and foolishness around me. I struggle to find any reason—ANY REASON—to do anything other than write a few more books to fulfill my sole purpose for remaining conscious in this earthly experience: ensuring the Real Truth® is accessible to everyone, free of charge or obligation, so that when each person's earthly journey ends, no one can say, "If I had known the Real Truth®, I wouldn't have acted the way I did."

It's true: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

The few students who attend the weekly URTEIL classes keep me engaged... somewhat. Although there are only about 150 of them, they come each week eager to hear me try to explain "things as they REALLY are" (i.e., the Real Truth®). I know they're excited. I know they enjoy the social interaction. I know some have provided financial support so that A Marvelous Work and a Wonder® can continue and be published in their lifetime. This support makes me feel obligated... again, somewhat.

However, when I observe those who attend, I often notice the sadness on their faces. I often think how much better off they might have been if they had never discovered the MWAW and had continued living under the illusions that once brought them happiness, mingling with other groups of people just as deceived and ignorant of the Real Truth® as they were... and still are.

Even writing these few words to start an online record of my thoughts is burdensome.

"What good is it REALLY going to do for any of them?" They'll listen. I might make them laugh a bit. But none of them REALLY understand. I haven't seen any of them become wiser in their choices or kinder in their actions towards others... Yeah, I think that's what truly bothers me... Why can't they see that the ONLY reason for their conscious existence in this modern world is to be kind to others, and accept that everyone has their own ideas and desires for happiness? If they can't accept what makes another person happy, they're not being kind.

I would love to not be the messenger and be on the receiving end of the message. Understanding that the entire purpose of mortal life is to eliminate things that are unkind, even if they make me happy but cause others misery, and thus staying away from everyone I might cause an unkind situation with... Oh, that would be nearly everyone... what an easy thing to do. Yeah... not so easy when you want to be around others and want them to be kind to you, even if you're not kind to them.

... I'm too weighed down by the futility of it all to continue writing... I'll snap out of the frustration soon and finish my job... but not today.

But anyways...

...

"And I was about to write more, but I am forbidden; but great and marvelous were the prophecies of [Christopher]; but they esteemed him as naught, and cast him out; and he hid himself in the cavity of a rock by day, and by night he went forth viewing the things which should come upon the people. And as he dwelt in the cavity of a rock he made the remainder of this record, viewing the destructions which came upon the people, by night."

(See BOM, Ether 13:13-14.)